Single With Purpose


Despite the title, this is NOT your typical single’s post…


Single With Purpose | Hearts for Purity

I have heard it said so many times that:

  • “As a single person, you have so much opportunity!”
  • “You can reach the world in ways a married woman can’t!”
  • “Singles have the power to change the WORLD for  the glorification of God!!”

Even I’ve said some of those words. Believed those words. And I’ve found that holding fast to those words just leads me down a path of disillusionment and discontentment.

Now, I’ll admit that there is some truth to such statements (well, some of them, anyway).  After all, a single person does not have the same commitments and responsibilities that a married person has; therefore they have more freedom to up and relocate on a whim, or volunteer in multiple areas of church service.  And that’s a good thing.

I think what gets my goat about such statements is that it gives us the impression that a single person’s purpose and a married person’s purpose are two very different things.

But they’re actually not.

The truth is, you have the same purpose as married woman with three kids and two gerbils. Your purpose, her purpose, my purpose is found in Jesus’ own words:

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:30-31 NKJV

Them’s Jesus’ own words, m’dear. And they don’t specify a relationship status.

Your purpose is not greater than my purpose, and vise versa. The result of my loving God with all my heart/soul/mind/strength might  be different than yours, but that doesn’t make me better than you. If you and I aren’t following God’s commandments,  then regardless of our current season of life, we’re not honoring God. It’s just that simple.

Because if you can’t serve God right now, you can’t serve God in a different season of life.

And if you’re not content right now, you will not be content in another season of life.

Being single can be difficult, can’t it?  We  ache and long and get discouraged.  We miss our friends who’ve changed their relationship status and now don’t have as much time for us. We feel the sting of desires unmet whilst scrolling through social media, viewing post after post after post about  everyone else  moving into a season of life we’ve so desperately  wanted to be in ourselves.

Here’s a bit of frank truth for your heart today, my friend:  You are not a failure. You are not sub-par. You are not an outcast. You are not better than or worse than the woman next to you, or the women to whom you keep comparing yourself.

YOU are God’s precious creation. YOU were formed and designed for a specific, beautiful purpose that only God could give to you. God loves YOU so much that He gave His only Son to die a horrific death, just   so that you’d have a chance at eternal life(John 3:16). YOU have been called to give God your all, regardless of your relationship status or life season–now and for the rest of your life.

So how about you and I start living like we actually believe that truth today?

Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:2 NKJV


Lonely Hearts

Lonely Hearts | Hearts for Purity


Ah, Valentine’s Day doth approacheth.

Which makes all the lovely yet single fair maidens wonder: where are the shining knights meant to rescue them from their unmarried state?

After all, the fairy tales are very clear: knight in shining armor rides in on white horse, saves yon fair maiden, there’s a wedding, and let flowery music commence as the happy couple ride into the sunset.

Here’s the thing, though: we, the fair maidens committed to waiting for “Prince Charming”…..well, um…..we’re still waiting.

And all the hype about Valentine’s Day makes that waiting just a wee bit harder.

I, for one, have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s. Why? Well, the decor and flowers and Hallmark movies and chocolate are all very thrilling and sweet– desirable, even. But you only get to fully appreciate the romance of them when you’re “a couple”. And when you’ve never been “a couple”, nor have any prospects in the way of possibly eventually being part of “a couple”–well, the whole “Happy Valentine’s Day” rigamarole is actually quite discouraging and depressing.

Don’t get me wrong–I love a good love story. And I’m all for waiting for the husband God has for me. It’s just that sometimes I get lonely for him. I wonder where he is, if he’s well, is he dreading Feb. 14th as much as myself, does he sometimes wish he could give me a dozen red roses and a heart-shaped box filled with chocolates? (I’m wishing, even if he’s not😉 )

And that’s when the loneliness sets in.

The “I’m-so-lonely-and-single-I’m-never-going-to-meet-someone-and-I’ll-wind-up-an-unmarried-old-biddy-in-a-nursing-home” lie straight from the devil himself.

The devil wants us more focused on our relationship status than on Christ. He wants us to be lonely and sad and on edge. He loves nothing better than to get us, as lonely hearts, down in the depths of despair because Alas! we’ve no significant other.

But God doesn’t.

He wants us to rejoice in Him, to be happy and joyful because He is the satisfaction for which we long in the depths of our hearts. He is the companionship and the listening ear, the love and the excitement in your life right now, single girl. And until you accept Him as the fulfillment of all your dreams and hopes and longings, orchestration of your ‘happily-ever-after’ is going to take awhile.

This time of singleness is a gift. And all those moments of loneliness that comes with being single?

They’re gifts too.

Because in those moments of despair, God is there. He is greater still. He is waiting with open arms to love you the way you long to be loved.

Those heart-longings–physical, emotional, or anything else–are only a sign of your true longing for God Himself.

So why hide yourself from Him? Why cut yourself off from the greatest Love of your life? These single years are a time when you have God all to yourself. You don’t have to go cook hubby’s supper or do the wash, or wipe a wee one’s runny nose. You can snuggle down with your Bible and delve into the treasure trove of promises that God has written to you in His Word, without distraction. (see 1 Corinthians 7:34-35)

So yes, it is a time of hearts and love and romance, and yes, I wish that I could be sharing it with my feller.

But one of God’s promises is that He’ll always give me what I need, not a moment sooner or later than when I need it.